Litigations: “don’t white man this” ; ending poverty sounds like my version of bitcoin – (continued)

March 11, 2021 You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” ― Buckminster Fuller A continuation from a few days ago – When I say “don’t white man this” – I mean don’t find a way to capitalize on something pure. This means, stop trying to sell something, an idea, a product, a methodology with the “should” narrative, through the “this is how business is done” tone, or the “if you want x then you must do y” mindset. When we talk about opening free restaurants, or creating free spaces, there is a voice that’s triggered, either internally or through a conversation that I have with someone white or a man or a white man – in my mind or out loud, when i speak to myself – or i guess, the externalized white man – that is laced with venom – ready to spit, scream, scat at, or silently seduce with intoxicating destruction in my mind’s eye and then i remember sam harris, Keanu Reeves and Andrea Crosta and i’m not so angry anymore. now onto the poverty bit – and my version of bitcoin. My version of bitcoin revolves around making a machine that compresses coins into tiny particles that turn them into glitter dust and every blow of bitcoin dust gets you a house. because money is stupid and whoever came up with bitcoin is missing the point. also, city fephs, section 8, and HRA are living in dream land issuing $1500 vouchers for a 2 bedroom apartments in NYC as if they don’t live here and don’t know how much it actually costs to get a 2 bedroom apartment. i don’t think money is actually stupid because it’s not its fault for being used the way that it currently is – the way people handle money and the attitudes around money are stupid. not all, but many. because we do things that hurt people, animals and the planet even though we know that it’s wrong all in the name of profit and money – anytime one does something knowing that it is wrong, stupidity has prevailed. SOLUTION: When at Ihop, ask for the manager and ask them if they know that plastic straws and plastic utensils and plastic bags are harming our planet. If they say yes, which they will, because no one wants to pretend to b stupid enough to pretend to not know what is going on, then you can tell them, okay so you’re not going to serve plastic in your stores anymore then are you? make sure you have a smile on your face and that you are extending your spirit from love if not you might make an enemy and drake already has enough for all of us combined – get a name and a number and put it on your “manager’s spoken to list” – find the CEO of the establishment on LINKEDIN and message them and 5 of their hommies asking them to end plastic in their establishments using similar language that was used with the IHOP Manager. Take a break and watch a Wes Anderson movie. Repeat until the deed is done. Moisturize your hands for the work you’ve done. I’m starting a juice cleanse. I realize the internal eye roll that’s happening. An important realization towards myself. Juice Cleanse through Alchemy Cleanse and what to do to prepare for a cleanse. Why Am I Doing a Cleanse? The last two months were dietarily tragic. I was eating ice cream, chips, so much bread, late night snacks, cookies, not exercising every day or even every other day, barley doing yoga, hardly dancing…I caved and got an empanada from the corner which really set the ship back a couple of notches from the destination- I don’t know if that’s an actual saying but that is what I felt – off course – on Friday after showing my client a couple of places around the upper west and east side, I caved and ate regular pizza – what started it all were the homemade cookies I made a few nights ago – when ZW came back with non-vegan butter, his reasoning was that “Irish cows must be a lot happier” – I don’t get it – I should have been more specific with the brand – but also, he knows we’re not eating animal products so idk what possessed him to buy Irish butter – anyway – once I made those cookies – things started spiraling – the next day I made quiche and hadn’t prepared vegan cheese the night before and vegan cheese at the store is nonsense so he came back with mozzarella which was amazing and I cried a little because the emotional levels of guilt and shame and confusion were too much to bare – I was also on my period and tried the diva cup for the first time – so idk – maybe it was the new silicon insert, or the emotional imbalance with period, or cravings (I don’t get cramps anymore, super grateful for that) – but something moved me into a space of justification. This reminds me of the 5 year journey I took to quit cigarettes. I will probably blog about that another time. Either way, mistakes were made and while there were no regrets, because eating dairy again felt like that first cig in an 8 hour cig pause – or that first taste of beer after not drinking for months – I was never dependent on alcohol but since I’ve gone sober (also without weed), life has become richer in ways that I can’t really speak into just yet – it’s like I’ve grown a new pair of eyes and although I am not speaking to my guides as much (probably cos I’ve stopped dancing as frequently and also because weed was a way for me to tap into that consciousness), I’ve developed different listening skills – we still speak – just not out loud anymore – Micah’s ears were twitching as I typed that – she reminds me everyday to handle the plastic – to stay on course – not to get side tracked – not give up hope – we can end this cycle of plastic production – in the morning she follows me into the bathroom and licks the plastic wrapping that the toilet paper comes in – like start here, she says, call these guys – tell them to change their packaging – I can’t wait for our meeting on Tuesday with Sun and Katrina – I will also invite Ren if they aren’t working – and make a dinner for the girls soon so we can assemble and discuss how we will tackle this – as much as I love my guy friends I am realizing that they don’t care about ending plastic production as urgently. They are swimming in other parts of the ocean perhaps and are not concerned with investing in actionable steps towards the ending of plastic. Not even ZW cares as much which sometimes makes me question the validity of our relationship. I had this image in my mind that the person I’m with cares about this just as much as I do and that this would be something we work on together. The more I stay in that space of disappointment the less happy I feel about the relationship. A choice I cannot outwit. If I am to stay in this relationship I am to accept that I had created expectations that have not been satisfied. Maybe that old way of thinking was tied to an old idea that I had about who I needed to be with or what the relationship stood for. We’re on the same team just training different players. I cannot control ZW or my friends. I can only control myself and what I choose to do with my time. like blog irish cows, vaginal inserts, and the contradictions that keep us spinning. i didn’t get my session in with sam harris today. not every white man is a cis-hetrocentric capitalistic asshole scumbag who pretends to do good or who pretends that everything is okay or tells themself that everything is okay so they don’t feel so bad buying another yacht while they continue making child-labor clothes or sugar-filled addictive processed “food” products that lead to diabetes and heart conditions – free will is a choice – i get that – people can choose to not buy these things – but when their are given to people in school as part of their school lunches, brand recognition happens – addictions follow – when you stock the grocery stores with poison and make it so cheap for people that they don’t mind justifying a fast way to kill themselves, “free will” works in the opposite direction – the rotational problem solving agenda only buys the creators and perpetrators of this market enough time to loophole their way out of another lawsuit – my hate for white men stems from this nebulous chase to pinpoint the elusive executive chief responsible for these decisions. i might return with more intelligent insight at a later date but for now, i am going to sleep and dream about making these gluten free doughnuts. replace the egg with flax meal or egg replacement. or use organic eggs. just stop eating and serving the meat. start there.